Women are sensitive creatures, even if they’re strong and independent. Sometimes they just experience unnecessary guilt for everything they say, do, and even feel. It often happens because of the pressure from the outside: “you need children,” “your hobby is ridiculous,” “you dress like a guy,” and thousands of other things. Yet you shouldn’t apologize for these.
Bright Side has made up a list of 15 things no woman should feel guilty for. It’s time to change your attitude toward yourself for the better!
1. For saying “no”
Women often feel guilty for saying “no.” It’s often easier to say “yes,” no matter what the result may be. This might surprise you, but you shouldn’t apologize for that. Yes, I know you feel awful for refusing to help a friend or telling a guy you don’t want to date him.
But think of you first; there’s probably a reason why you need to refuse. No matter how small it is — if you don’t feel like saying “yes,” no one has the right to force you.
2. For liking “manly” or “girly” things
“Honey, it’s time to find a more appropriate hobby, you’re a lady!” How often have you heard something like this? Who on Earth told you that you cannot be an auto mechanic if you’re a woman?
Remember that it’s your life, and it’s you who decides what you want. There’s no reason why you can’t like bikes instead of knitting; or knitting instead of bikes. Hey, we live in the 21st century, after all!
3. For not wearing makeup
Hands up if you’ve ever felt you should wear makeup, because, well, you’re a woman. Even if you don’t like it, sometimes you feel that pressure. I’ll tell you one important thing. If you don’t like makeup, don’t apply it. If you like a light touch of face powder instead of a layer of foundation — it’s your choice.
After all, if you have awesome skin without all this contouring, non-touring, and hundreds of other ways to draw a new face — you have all the reasons to be proud of it.
4. For food choices
Life is hard when you have to defend even your food choices, especially among friends or family. “Why don’t you drink? Come on, just a glass!” or “What do you mean you don’t eat meat?!” Even such a small thing like having a salad when everyone else chooses a burger (or vice versa) can result in persuasion and pressure.
No one should feel guilty for their food choices. If you don’t like fish, it’s only your business. Go for something else and don’t even think of making excuses.
5. For having fun
When was the last time you felt like dancing, singing, or jumping in the street but thought “What would people think?”
Hey girl, who cares? You can do what you want unless it hurts somebody. People will just smile or lift their eyebrow passing by…or they won’t even notice — anyway, who cares? You most likely won’t meet them ever again. Why should you refuse these seconds of pure joy?
6. For being a little selfish
Selfishness isn’t that bad, especially if it comes in small portions. It’s ok that you want some time for yourself — not for your work, friends, family, and other duties. It’s ok that you want to relax alone (or not alone) after a long day and postpone everything for later.
You shouldn’t apologize if you want the last piece of cake or that thing from the shop, and you don’t even have to explain why you need it. You simply do. It’s your piece of joy.
7. For having emotions
Human beings have emotions; everyone knows it. Sometimes you need to cry or laugh… just because. You might have the desire to be alone and not talk to anyone; or the urge to hug your best friend right now.
You can be angry, happy, surprised, disappointed, sad, and even indifferent — and you shouldn’t apologize just because you haven’t answered someone with a smile.
8. For needing help and asking for it
Almost every woman at least once was in a situation where she needed help but was too ashamed to ask for it. Whether it was a heavy piece of luggage to lift on a shelf or some duty at home, we tend to feel guilty when we cannot handle something ourselves.
You should understand that asking for help is absolutely normal and no one will judge you. Additionally, most people would be glad to help because everyone likes to feel needed — you only have to ask. And instead of apologizing, say your sincere “thank you” — they will appreciate it much more.
9. For having a different opinion
Luckily, we live in a country when no one forbids us to have and express our opinion. People may like it or not, but it’s their business. If your friend asks you whether or not you like this new book by a famous author, you can say “no” without feeling guilty. You simply don’t like the style, there’s nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you told her to throw this book away, right?
The only case when you have to apologize for expressing your thoughts is when you did it in a rude and impolite manner.
There’s always someone who’s not happy with your style. It’s a matter of taste and it shouldn’t influence your level of comfort.
No matter if you like sweet princess dresses, a sporty style, or your dad’s old jeans. Unless you’re going for a walk in a bikini or breaking a dress code at work, you can wear what you want.
11. For being proud of your achievements
Even if it’s your first omelet. It’s your personal development, a little step you did towards a better and more interesting self. You can and you should be proud of your success — and I mean the success of all sizes and kinds.
Don’t let those who are trying to diminish your achievements make you feel this moment of pride was a mistake. You did it. You deserve it.
12. For loving your body the way it is
You already feel this pain, right? You’re “too skinny,” “too fat,” “muscly,” “scrawny,” “too small,” and even “don’t wear high heels, you’re already tall.” Oh, really? Do you remember human beings are all different?
Remember: it’s you who decides whether or not you’re gorgeous.
Well, frankly speaking, you shouldn’t. The desire to learn is the thing that matters. If you don’t know how planes fly or how to cook that citrus tart, you can always ask Google. After all, we’re constantly learning something — even the most clever of us.
14. For the way you live
What does happiness mean to you? A couple of children? A great career? Traveling? People always think they know better and they push you into things they consider right. Yet if you’re not ready for marriage now, it’s your choice. If you love your job, don’t listen to those who tell you you should change it for another one.
They probably say it because they love you and wish you all the best — a higher salary or a happy family life. Yet your life is your choice. You know it’s always better to listen to your heart.
15. For the way you manage your sexuality
Again, your body is your business. You may “save yourself until marriage” or have as many partners as you want. In both cases, there will always be someone to criticize your choice.
Yet the thing is, it’s your choice. You neither have to explain it nor apologize for it.
Have you ever felt guilty for at least one of the things from this list? Have you managed to get rid of this habit? Share your stories in the comments below!